“Hey,” I said, suddenly embarrassed at my faux pas. “Um, I need to rectify an imbalance in the Force.”
“No, you don’t,” he said between kisses.
“Uh, yeah I do.”
“No, let’s just wait a bit.”
He nuzzled my neck and rubbed my arm, snuggling in closer.
“Yeah…I, uh…need a minute,” he said, while his hands pulled me somehow closer to his chest.
“To what? Knit a sweater?”
“No,” he snickered. “To…I’m REALLY excited right now,” he rubbed said excited appendage against my leg as a demonstration.
“Well, isn’t that the point?”
“No,” he said, now giggling nervously.
“I’m confused,” I said.
I pulled his head away so he could look me in the eyes. The mirth was gone. “I…I’m not coming right now.”
“Uh…I can help with that,” I said, reaching down to free him from his boxers.
“Not yet,” he said, batting my hand away, “Listen, I’ve been trying to focus on other things in my life—”
“—Like getting me off?”
“Yeah, that was fun,” he said, reaching around and grabbing my ass.
“So, wait…you aren’t going having sex with me, like…at all.”
“No. I’m all for having sex.”
“But just not…now.”
“Sort of…no, not really…it’s just…listen…” he said getting up from the table, “Come sit with me.”
“Yeah, ’cause I think I’m gonna need to be sitting down.”
We sat and he took my hands in his. I was naked.
This was weird.
This will not end well.
Shut up. Focus.
“A couple years ago, after I ended a really serious relationship that was actually just a big fucking lie, I decided to avoid anything other than casual sex. I banged anyone who showed the least interest and moved on.”
“Uh…have you been tested?” I asked, not realizing I’d been in the room with a man-whore.
You dummy. Where to you think fuck hot guys pick up multi-O moves like that? Cooking class?
“Yeah, regularly, but it was always safe, I promise.
“Anyway, then I questioned everything: job, friends…I decided I needed a fresh start. So, I pointed to a place on the map and went there. I got odd jobs, I stopped dating. I couldn’t afford to go out anyway.
“I saw an ad for massage school. I’d always liked making people feel good, so I went for it. I got the gig at the spa…
“And then I met you.”
He looked away from me, seeming to be embarrassed. For what I had no clue. He grabbed a fist full of hair and continued. “You know, you’re such a livewire.
You respond in a way I’ve never experienced…and I should know, you know?”
“Uh…yeah,” I said, looking sheepishly at my hands.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey, look at me, please.”
I looked up and his eyes were practically glowing.
“I really want to be with you, like go out and…other stuff. I want to have sex. I’m just not sure I’ll be able to last very long, but I think—I hope I’m ready to start again, just…I don’t know. I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Well, how about we start with me sucking your cock, and move from there,” I suggested, looking at him sideways.
He was gaping at me.
I opened my mouth and closed it to help him out.
He smiled wryly and leaned in to kiss me.
Then he was on top of me on the futon.
Then I was on top of him, straddling his hips.
Then, I was pulling his boxers down, and he was lifting his hips to help.
I sat over him and reached out, pausing to gauge his reaction before I took hold of him.
“Are you really ready?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t think I care any more. I just want to be inside of you so bad…unnnng! Shit, hang on!” I had upstroked once to give him an idea, and his hips not only bucked, but he had the biggest wad of pre-come setting atop his slit I’d ever seen.
I’d never been so tempted to lick a dick before that.
I licked my lips and swallowed, then looked at his face.
“OK,” he said, “but this is going to be the fastest blowjob ever…just…be prepared for me to come at any minute, and do…whatever it is you do…”
Oh, you are SO swallowing this time.
What if I can’t!
Do it. You can do it, Swan!
I leaned down, watching his face and licked the underside of his cock lapping at it like a dish of cream.
“Good?” I asked.
“Shit!” he said and then took several long, deep breaths.
Midway through his third, I put my mouth on him, sucking his head into my mouth.
I sucked lightly, not wanting to Hoover him too soon. That could scare anyone.
“Fuck!” he said and started fucking my mouth slowly but erratically.
I wanted to laugh, but I was too busy trying to keep my teeth from scraping him, and making sure he aimed right.
It was short, about two minutes, give or take.
In the end, he did give me warning: “Coming! Coming!” he cried, and I held the base while sealing my lips around the bottom of the head, using my tongue to milk him.
Fuck, he came a lot.
I swallowed three times before he was finished, then I licked around the tip, while he giggled like a girl and tried to get me to stop.
I looked up into a face of sheer gratitude.
“You’re more than welcome,” I responded.
“Yeah. Hey, can I sleep over?”
“You can stay as long as you like,” he said, brushing my hair out of my face.
I woke up to the sound of pots clanging not ten feet from my head, and a metal bar under my back.
“You’re staying over at my place, next time…I don’t even care if I have to call a HAZMAT team to clean it up,” I moaned.
“Coffee?” he asked, as if he didn’t hear me.
“Yeah, you got half-and-half?”
“I thought you liked soy?”
“Sure, whatever,” I said.
“I’ve got coconut creamer!” he said temptingly.
“Do you like coconut?”
“Then you’ll like it.”
He came around the bar and helped me sit up against a bank of pillows, and handed me a cup.
“Fuck, you really are a morning person aren’t you?” I said.
“Kind of…see, I met this hot chick last night and took her to my place and we had crazy monkey sex half the night. So, I’m kind of in a good mood.”
“Wow, I’m sorry I missed that.”
“You should be,” he said.
“Seriously, though, are we actually gonna fuck anytime soon?”
“Well, we can…I don’t have to be at work for,” he checked his watch, “Hm…twenty…nine hours…”
“Shit! What time is it?”
I looked around the apartment for a magical carpet, time machine, or some other deus ex machina to get me out of this predicament.
“I’m gonna be late!”
“Shit,” he said, helping me gather clothes.
“Fuck! I really don’t want to go to work,” I whined.
Now who’s petulant, Swan?
He stopped gathering and grinned at me, “You should follow that instinct.”
“What? No!” But I wanna! “I mean, I don’t even know what I’d say!”
Somehow, the idea of calling in fucked didn’t seem like it would fly.
“Call in sick,” he said, handing phone and perfect excuse on a silver platter.
Could I do that?
He was still holding my phone out to me.
“I’ve never done this before,” I admitted as I took it.
“You’ve never called in sick, or you’ve never played hooky after hooking up?”
“Excellent! You won’t be comparing it to times you’ve called in when you were sick.”
“Uh…I don’t know if I can do this,” I said, staring at my phone as though it was a handgun.
“OK, pros and cons,” he said, trading my phone for my shirt. He sat next to me as I pulled it over my head.
Somehow being half dressed made me feel a little better.
“Here, put your hands out,” and he demonstrated, hands out, palms up.
He grabbed my right middle finger and wiggled it like a toe. “Pros.”
Then he did the same to my left, but he said, “Cons.”
Then he nodded for me to continue.
“Pro…just one day of work.
“Con…I’ll get sixteen hours behind.
“OK, I need to go—” I started to get up.
“No,” he said, grabbing my naked hips and pulling me back down. “Let me help.”
He grabbed my right hand. “Pro: when you miss work, someone has to take care of things that have to be taken care of today. Do you have anything like that?”
“Yeah, most of my day is putting out fires.”
“Then you won’t have sixteen hours of work piled up, someone will do it.
“Pro,” he continued, “you deserve a day off.” He was so earnest.
How did he know?
It’s his fucking job, dummy! But what about you, Swan…you really think you can pull it off? Not likely. You suck.
“Con,” I countered, “I’m a very bad liar, and I could get caught.”
“Well, it’s true your lying skills are pathetic, but this is over the phone, and all of your tells are visual.”
I looked at him incredulously.
Was he lying?
He stared back at me impassively.
“Hey, why do you care, anyway?” he asked. “Do you actually love this job that makes your shoulders hard as granite?”
“No. I hate it.”
“Well…” He picked up my phone again and showed it to me.
“It’s your choice, Swan. Me? I always call in if I’m going to be late.”
I rolled my eyes and took it from him, then pulled up my boss’s private line.
“Hey, Swan! I’m surprised to hear from you this early.”
So…what are you going to do Swan?
“What…are you going to be late today? This is a first. What happened?”
“No. No, I can’t make it in at all today. I need to take a sick day.”
“What? But we have several publications that need to be cleared immediately. We can’t afford to wait! This is really bad timing!”
As if there ever would be good timing…
“Yes, I know, I know. But…well…I’m having…”
I saw movement in my peripheral vision and looked up to see Edward miming coughing and sniffling and…what was that? He had the back of his hand on his forehead, à la Damsel in Distress.
I shook my head at him.
“Sorry,” I grunted. “In a lot of pain, here…It’s my…back.”
Edward cheered in front of me.
“Ouch! What did you do? Pull a muscle or something?”
“Yeah…probably. I’m actually seeing a specialist today.”
“Shit, well, do that, and come back to us. We need you, Swan.”
Fuck, I may never go back, I realized.
“Hm. Yes, well, if it doesn’t get better I might not be in tomorrow, either.”
Edward cheered again, his grin reaching all the way to his ears.
I ended the call and looked up at him.
“So…about that specialist,” he said.
“That’s going to be me, right?”