Category: stories

Epilogue Snipet

Angela resisted the urge to fan herself with a dirty napkin. Instead, she gazed around the rooftop terrace for a newly minted shady spot before someone else spied it. It was this search that held her attention as Emmett and Ben talked research.

Yes, I’m writing again…I moved my computer in front of my window. It’s like creative crack.

My leg, etc.

Apparently I wrote a metaphor so poorly that it’s been consistently mis-read as fact. There’s nothing wrong with either of my legs. I can bend them backwards and forwards like everyone else.

I’m dissatisfied with fanfiction. I don’t have any issues with the fanfictionistas. I just don’t have anything in common with any of them (I have no interest in Robsten, et al, I don’t have nor want children, I don’t like kitty porn and don’t have a secret wish that my husband would dominate me in bed) and all the fic I read seems like the same old shit…even the really fucked up stories. It’s boring.

But that’s not why I’m leaving. I’m leaving because I’d rather be a crap writer banging out my own shit for free, than a crap writer who has to thank and give credit to SM for free. That disclaimer is not fun to write. Also, I don’t need nor do I want constant ego boosting feedback. At first I liked getting reviews and comments, but most of it is useless fangirling, and it’s creepy and weird to me. It’s fine if you’re into it, but it’s just not my kink.

Lastly, thank you (all two or so of you) who’ve subscribed to this blog. It’s very kind of you to show your support.

Write What?

That is the big question. I don’t know what to write, but I know I’m ready to abandon the crutches and this bulky Velcro strapped splint on my leg (<–this is a metaphor for writing).

I’ll say it here, because only those who actually give a shit about me outside of ff, will read my blog: I’ve become disillusioned with fanfic; so much so that I don’t know if I’ll even be able to finish the few WIPs I still bother to read. I won’t go on and on about the specifics. I don’t like to waste words.

I will probably write fiction.

It may or may not be funny.

I will use the word “cunt” whenever I feel like it.

There will be awkward and realistic sex.

I will write from a place of emotional honesty and realism.

No protagonist will have any incarnation of red hair (until I’m thoroughly RPatz purged)

While I’m at it, I will avoid like bubonic plague any reference to Twi-inspired character names, events and locations.

There may be vampires, but they will never sparkle, and they will always be evil. Just as the great sky-bully intended.

who is alice?

I’m referring to the Alice in Inappropriate Touching.

Is she the VILLAIN?

Is she EVIL?

No…And no.

She is the hero of her own story, just like the rest of us. I’m writing this post, because the vast majority of readers don’t seem to understand her.

And I think it’s my responsibility to clear that up. I am the writer, no?

In some ways, I GREATLY admire Alice. She has serious personality problems, but she is highly functioning. I mean, she owns her own company, she’s in a good relationship, she has family that (sometimes) talks to her. She even has friends. Clearly, she wouldn’t have those things if she wasn’t a person with redeemable traits.

But the problem is that for most of the fic, all you see is Bella’s perspective on Alice.

She is actually (in many ways) Bella’s scapegoat. She is certainly a clear indication that Bella has serious problems of her own (if you can look at it objectively).

Do you follow me?

See, when things go wrong for Bella, Alice is an easy person to pin the blame on. Let’s look at the short list of stuff readers blame Alice for:

1. the restraining order

Yes, Alice did get the restraining order, but everyone seems to conveniently forget how the POA came about. Who signed it anyway?

Bella. No one forced her to do it.

2. the situation with Bella’s apartment

Again, Bella has just done what Alice says, without any disagreement.

We see in chapter 5 that Bella actually FAULTS Jasper for arguing with Alice. But I think everyone would agree that Jasper is one of the most well-adjusted characters in the story. He doesn’t let Alice walk all over him. Bella does.

The bottom line is this: Alice only has as much power as Bella gives her. If Bella said, “Meh, I think I’ll take care of myself, thanks.” Alice would either have to put up or shut up (as we used to say back in the day).

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that these things WEREN’T Alice’s fault, but that, as with MOST things, there is shared responsibility for the outcome.

It would be very easy to point my writerly finger and say “he’s the villain” or “she’s the problem.” Real life isn’t like that. And…even though I write fic, I like to think that the situations are at least SOMEWHAT plausible.

I don’t do villains. I do heroes. All these characters are the heroes of their own story. You’re just getting a limited glimpse at a couple of them, with slivers of some of their family/friends.

So, try to give Alice a break. If you hate her, fine, it’s your life. I personally don’t like to walk around hating people; it’s a waste of energy. But you do what you want to do.

Thanks for reading.